Welcome friend.

Here are some things that I have written, read, or have affected me in some way. I formally state that no one truly will understand these words or the intention of these words due to my inability to efficiently & accurately express myself.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

9 - 11?

so I have been trying to stay informed of the worlds current events, and in the process of fulfilling that today I stumbled upon some interesting images.

this link goes to a BBC News article on the recent death of Poland's President, Lech Kaczynski, in a tragic plane crash:


if you notice, that plane is fucked up. the ground around it? also fucked up. actually, it looks exactly like it did when they crashed the plane on the first season of Lost...and the sixth season!

now here are a couple links, one showing the aftermath of the 'plane crash' into the pentagon, and one of a similar 'attack' in Pennsylvania:



If you notice, these scenes look completely different!

Obviously someone has deceived Us. Regardless of the intentions, let this be a warning to you that nothing is what it seems..

especially in the name of war.

Monday, April 5, 2010

ever want to be a fly on the wall?

see some stuff you shouldn't.

www.wikileaks.org
to be not once, but twice cast aside
like a perfect idea, perfected once again
obsolete, rides the ebb and flow of tide

I helped hold the waters back long enough,
long enough for waves to wear my walls
and to see your kingdom flourish

yet, once erosion runs its course
I crumble, collapse to the ground
remaining here, unperturbed
admiring my place in the grand scheme

every kingdom must expand
now, but a pile of stone surrounds
naturally, you'll loathe the blemish

but you forget the intent
of which this wall, had stood
if your ambition surpasses your vision

as you build a wall to further hold
the tide at bay, to keep a kingdom growth,
then you shall see barren days

no man can fight a nature's strength
be it his, the moon's, or Earth
the waves will soon retrieve their ground
regardless of your birth.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

be careful what you pretend to be because that is what you'll become

Quiet Rage: The Stanford Prison Experiments

Review of the Quiet Rage video by Hans Sherrer

(September 2003)


http://forejustice.org/zimbardo/quiet_rage.htm

one day,
when retrospect has taken its course,
and clarity on immediacies
& such is relinquishing,
a certain scent overcomes,
this momentary glory.

while pursuit of a definition
in measures present
suffices not to purge emanation,
threaten relentless appeal
to the senses,
as to the nature of their latency.

Friday, March 12, 2010

I was born with too much weight on my shoulders,
like Atlas, trying not to let the world roll over
it happens, I've adjusted to holding this boulder,
made with my father's doubts,
getting heavier as I get older

pieces

As fire screams from between branches
An autumn sky blazes over our autumn years
Black, silhouetted against a crimson sun
Shining light scattered, upon our gaze-less eyes
As the world is broken piece by piece
Our hands callus from the crumbling earth
Set forth by trembling hearts
We lead ourselves blindly to the edge of the abyss
Look at us now! we exclaim
As we dance eyes closed upon the ledge
Laughing down with no voice returned
Like fools, there is no end in sight!
Under our feet the ground slowly slips
Leaving no grasp for callused hands
For we have wandered too far, too fast
Carelessly grinding bedrock for sand
Disappearing, the crimson light trails
Back across the brink
As all wonder falls within
Seeing death before it meets the deep

attn:

Ladies & Gentlemen, may I have your attention?
I have startling news of vile misdirection.
It seems a slave comes cheap these days.
For we are all in shackles in a few different ways:

First they tie your heart to things,
Undermining love, by defining what it means.
Placing fake expectations on the world you "deserve",
Thus limiting reaction to the master we serve.

Secondly, they tie your mind to debt.
Focusing your attention so those expectations can be met.
By keeping the world so far about your means,
Making you live life to catch up, oblivious to the scheme.

And third, they weigh you down with fear.
Creating "security" so that comfort stays near.
Building your life around an idea of hope,
That nothing goes wrong, and you stay afloat.

Eliminating the search to discover who you are,
They name the nameless, and they set the bar.
But you dont have to submit as a pawn in a game,
For each man is powerful, and we are all the same.

rain. rain

washed as white as snow?
more like a thin, watered coat of paint,
it just takes some rain to wash it away.
brace yourselves!
you're falling back to earth

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

it must be something in the air
to make me fret so
something, to make me fear
that I'm losing something
losing anything
yes, it must be, in the air

if I take a look around
its easy to see
everything I'd like to keep
is still right in front of me

so just breathe, its nothing

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Glass Ceiling

once, God was a ceiling of glass,
to peer through to the heavens, and past.
until man took his hammer of Doubt
shattered God, and strew him about.
suffice, that did not for man,
for then doubt, had encompassed the land.
so crusades were set out to find,
the pieces of their peace of mind.
but the pieces were harder and harder,
to find, as they grew smaller and smaller.
attempting to build a new shield
from the horrors that only man yields,
they took all the God they could seize,
to no avail, tried to fuse piece to piece.
yet the closer and closer they came,
in the effort of defining his name,
it seemed the words would elude,
skip the tongue, and foster the feud
between the light, which once was so clear
and the Doubt, that nurtures his fear.


Monday, March 1, 2010

insomniac

approaching the end, like the sun falls
here, so quickly light thins
I've reached the point of voided return
this cavity remains, a half-lesson learned
bold visceral push toward daylight
through shadow stalk, eyes, ears taught
hear, feel, smell of the earth
unaware, yet aware, the hunt ensured
watch the fire, like stars embers blaze
upward, to join their heavenly kin
the tree line hails of foe and prey
as slumber creeps, my attention fades
alert! there exists much to develop
keep diligent, the guise of night envelops
watch the tick of the celestial tock
and huddle for warmth, as surely, enemies stalk
beat, by beat, by beat of heart, alone
i count by measure, the time til morn

Saturday, February 27, 2010

my grandparents, from my father.
how young and full of hope they seem lol
what did I do? to set your sun so low?
from what fire of mine has an ember met your eye?
here mine seemed a life of empathy,
and yours dissatisfaction.
to feel your pains, and mine as well
only to see in you the look of mistrust.
brother, do you not see the weight of both burdens
carried upon my back? to not suffer, as I suffer with you.
still alone, always alone, i feel my constraints.

do I not have as little as thee?
I see your claims of undesired intrusions,
whislt your heart pours out to me.
yet ressentiment is all I see...
and I understand the need for your own two feet.

is it all my fault, to be cast into this life?
admitting-ly, once, i held the bond too tight.
but I am here to live, not shy from light
i shall find my sovereignty to stand upright.

i see now, how this is a mutual plight

ashes to ashes

convulsing earth
is a repulsive birth
yet, a birth none the less

confounding worth
shall advance ever forth
through times we see as mess

the circle rounds
its equation, profound
forever back to start

disaster bound
yet more glory is found
in the cycle of Nature's art

Friday, February 26, 2010

seams

i followed step for step, paths so deeply set
to lead me no where, left behind
alone by me, my truths were met

i went in front for once, stood first upon the line
to take so deep the bladed edge
of another man's truth, as true as mine

to seem to seam a 'life' to life
or dream of dreaming strive from strife
will seem to take the 'youth' from you
and seem to take the truth from true

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

real food options in gainesville

Farmers Market's
The Alachua County Farmers Market (ACFM), is open every Saturday, year-round, from 8:30 am to 1:00 pm

Where: Gainesville Downtown Community Plaza, 111 E. University Ave
When: Wednesday from 4:00 PM - 7:00 PM. Open All Year

Where: Tioga Town Center, 13005 W. Newberry Rd.
When: Mondays from 4:00 PM - 7:00 PM. Open All Year

Decent Grocery Stores


Local Farm Resources


phones dial out as well as receive

Good lord, what is wrong with people?
I try to not allow my expectations for the relationships I have with my friends & family get in the way of our actual relationship, yet no one ever reciprocates. This has been something that has frustrated me for quite some time; if you're pissed at me, or anyone really, for not calling you, and you don't call me either, shut. the. fuck. up. Seriously.
It doesn't change anything between us, it just means that I am trying my hardest at that moment, to stay focused in that moment. It has nothing to do with you and I, it's just that sometimes it doesn't work out. Life is just one moment after the other, so my attention is constantly called for where ever I am. People allow their own insecurities to overcome their relationships; to rule their relationships. Shit, rule their lives. If you are ever bitching about how someone doesn't call you, or keep in touch as much as you would like them to, stop right there, PICK UP YOUR GOD DAMNED PHONE, and call them. Bitch me out for not calling you if it makes you feel better, but at least you can satisfy whatever expectations you have at that moment and don't have to ruin the relationship we do/could have by fuming on it during my/your absence.
Most likely I will be thrilled to hear from you. Most likely it would make my day. Most likely it would strengthen whatever bond we have. Instead, I actually hear from a only handful of people. Then I hear nothing but shit from a auditorium of inconsiderate people who don't even take the time to consider that maybe there is a reason I haven't talked to you. Maybe my life is consumed at the moment, by whatever it is, and I just don't know how to express it over the phone/internet. Maybe I'm just down on myself and I don't think that anyone would even want to hear from me. Maybe I am having to live my life and put up with the same bullshit that we all have to deal with on a day to day basis. Whatever it is, when I talk to you finally, or see you finally, how the fuck can someone justify putting up these woe-is-me walls around them. I don't want to talk to you about how I didn't talk to you, or the obvious fact that YOU DIDN'T CALL ME EITHER! I want to talk about how much I missed you, and how great it is to be able to see you. I want to talk about allll the things I missed, and I want to tell you all the you've missed.

That is the beauty of this human experience; we all share it. I would have to spend my entire day on the phone, having the exact same conversations, with all of the people in my life that I truly care about. Think about how many people in your life want the exact same amount of attention from you? How hard is that to juggle? I wish we didn't have phones, I wish we didn't have computers, because with them we are supposed to grow closer and all they do is pull us further from each other. We spend our lives glued to our phones and computers desperately trying to bring our 'social' life together and make it more efficient, when all it does is cheapen your relationships. I hate talking on the phone, I hate text messages, I hate anything that is used to communicate that removes the most important part of communication; feelings. I would rather see your face, and feel your words coming out of your mouth....because I actually care about what you're saying and don't want to cheapen it up with a fucking facebook message. It works in small ways, but when you try to perpetuate a relationship with these 'social networking' tools it will always fail. Why? Because you always place your own feelings onto whatever you read no matter what. You don't truly know what they were thinking and feeling when they wrote it, and a lot of times relationships are ruined over these exact miscommunications.

Communication is breaking down. Trust the people you love. These are the only two things that I feel like saying at the moment.

I might come back and edit this a little bit more, but I'm tired tonight.